Today the BBC and the Scotsman have picked up the Free Church’s response to plans for Same Sex Marriage in Scotland. We are arguing that under the plans to provide a third category of marriage in Scotland, we face the ridiculous situation where Jedi will be able to perform marriage ceremonies.
If you’re reading this, there’s a fair chance that you googled this blog looking for “Jedi Reverend” or just “Jedi Religion”. That’s because for a number of years now, I, Gordon Matheson, minister of Sleat & Strath Free Church on the Isle of Skye, have been using an alter-ego: I am the Jedirev.
I started using the title because I love Star Wars. But there’s another reason. I found, and still find, western society absurd in that a throw-away line in “A New Hope” can have spawned a “religion” – although it is a great scene. 12 years ago, I was in on the grand scheme to list “Jedi” as a religion in the National Census – and while I in the end didn’t, I have many friends who did. But not one of them lives their life in keeping with the Jedi code, and unlike Christianity, nobody is going to tell them off for not keeping the code – it seems Jedi don’t actually care about people falling to the Dark Side.
But how our precious Jedi padawan chickens have come home to roost! The Scottish Government’s “third category” for marriage is this absurd! Jedi will soon be able to officiate at marriage ceremonies. And we’re kidding if believe the spin that somehow – a Jedi mind trick, perhaps? – the reputation of Scottish ceremonies would be protected. Perhaps that’s the aim?
Firstly, the fact that Jedi ceremonies may become a reality betrays one problem at the heart of these plans. Our legislators have confused marriage as a relationship with a marriage ceremony. The focus of this legislation is all about giving people with all manner of notions of religion, equality to have a nice “church” wedding. That’s lovely an’ all that, but tinkering with a ceremony doesn’t change the essence of the thing. Absurd though they are, I’ve nothing against Jedi wedding ceremonies per se, but I lament the government who thinks such absurdities have to be pandered to. The evident lack of restraint or sense in the Government plans suggests this ain’t over yet – and before too long abusive (e.g. three-partner) partnerships will find they have the assent of law.
Secondly, a huge Jedi mind trick has been played here. Parity of relationship already exists – it’s just called something different: civil partnerships. The only right that’s likely to be enshrined here is the right to call same-sex partnerships the same thing as “traditional” marriage. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, eh? Not for the gay lobby, who have pulled off what must be the biggest Jedi mind trick of them all: despite the whole history of humanity saying otherwise, we are in a position to say homosexual relationships are the same as heterosexual ones. Soon enough, it may become criminal to suggest otherwise – it already costs some people their jobs.
Scotland needs Jedi Knights.
We need people who are going to stand up for freedom. Jedi can see the future you know, and if we’re not careful, I see dark times ahead – dark times fuelled by whatever regulation creeps from the primordial soup of Mac-leveson. Will blogging like this be tolerated in the Empire, sorry, secular modern Scotland? In a swamp in the Dagobah system must I live, if safe from the Dark Side I will be.
P.S. This is indeed an awesome scene… but a basis for a “religion” it is not. And why couldn’t George Lucas write like this in the prequels? Grrrrr….